How to Deal With an Eating Disorder During the Holidays

Key Takeaways:

• Preparation Is Key: The holidays don’t have to catch you off guard. Identifying your specific triggers ahead of time allows you to build a proactive plan to protect your peace.
• Boundaries Are Necessary Self-Care: Protecting your recovery means taking up space. Setting firm boundaries with loved ones around food topics and scheduling non-negotiable self-care time are essential tools for navigating holiday stress.
• Progress Over Perfection: Recovery is not a linear journey, and the holidays don’t require you to be perfect. Showing yourself the same gentle compassion you’d offer a friend (and leaning on your support team) can help you stay grounded when things feel overwhelming.

Medically Reviewed by: Dr. Helene Simons, Psy.D. (Doctor of Psychology)

The holiday season (especially Thanksgiving and Christmas) is usually associated with joy and cheer. If you are dealing with an eating disorder during the holidays, it can be a challenging time of year. The food, family, and social pressure of the holiday season can be particularly triggering and hard to navigate. This can cause a lot of stress and anxiety, and make it harder not to turn to old habits of disordered eating. 

With this in mind, one of the best things you can do for yourself is be prepared. We’ve put together a guide to offer helpful, practical tips to help those with eating disorders manage the holiday triggers associated with Thanksgiving and Christmas.

How to Deal With an Eating Disorder During the Holidays

Identify Potential Triggers: 

It’s important to know what your triggers are ahead of time so you can plan self-care strategies. Ask yourself what you’re worried about most. Think about how you will handle a particular family member who tends to make food or body comments. Think about who your “safe place” is and who you want to avoid. Consider the menu ahead of time and how you can make sure it meets all your meal requirements. 

Prioritize Self-care: 

It can be really hard to prioritize self-care during the holidays, especially if you are traveling or have a hectic schedule. Try scheduling your self-care practices the same way you’d schedule a meeting or an appointment. If you prioritize and schedule your self-care like any other commitment, you’re more likely to follow through. Another thing to consider is to ask a friend or family member to do a self-care activity with you to keep you accountable. If you know someone will be checking up on you or doing a self-care activity with you, you’ll be more likely to stick to your plan.

Don’t Be Afraid to Create Boundaries:

While it may not be easy, it’s important to set boundaries with family members and anyone else you’ll be spending time with during the holidays. Plan ahead, considering your potential triggers and anything else you want to account for, and set the necessary boundaries. Discuss these boundaries ahead of time with loved ones, and reinforce them throughout the holidays as needed to keep yourself on track. Take the space and time you need for yourself.

Lean on Your Support System:

Having a trusted support network like loved ones, your dietician or therapist, and other members of your care team who you can lean on and vent to is incredibly important and helpful. Utilize your treatment team and lean on them when you’re struggling with triggers. Identify a friend or family member to be your designated holiday support person. Remember that it’s okay to ask for help and that you don’t need to do this alone. 

Be Patient and Kind to Yourself:

Perhaps most important of all: be patient with yourself and show yourself the same kindness you would a loved one going through the same thing. Remember that progress is not linear, and it’s also not an overnight process. Here are a few ways you can show yourself compassion: 

• Set realistic expectations with your support system and let go of perfectionism. Progress over perfect every time.
• Be prepared to respond to negative thoughts and self-talk; ask your therapist for help reframing thoughts.
• Remember that you’re not alone in this; according to the National Eating Disorder Association, 30 million Americans will deal with an eating disorder in their lifetime. Recovery is possible and support is available.

Navigating the Holidays With an Eating Disorder

The holidays can be extremely stressful and triggering for those recovering from an eating disorder, but with the right mindset and support system, you will get through this and come out stronger. You deserve the same care and support you would give to a loved one going through what you’re experiencing. ED recovery is possible, and we’re here for you when you’re ready to seek the support you deserve. 

Frequently Asked Questions

How can I handle family members who make comments about my food or body during holiday meals?

Short Answer: Plan your boundaries ahead of time and designate a trusted “safe person” at the table who can help you redirect the conversation or give you an exit strategy.
Explanation: Unsolicited comments about weight or food choices are common during holiday gatherings, but you don’t have to absorb them. Before the event, identify your potential triggers and decide on a few simple boundary phrases or topic changes. Sharing your plan with a supportive friend or family member (if possible) beforehand gives you an ally in the room who can help reinforce your boundaries, change the subject, or step away with you if you need a break.

What should I do if I feel overwhelmed by the holiday menu or meal structure?

Short Answer: If possible, review the menu in advance and work closely with your treatment team or dietician to ensure your meal plan needs will be comfortably met.
Explanation: The unpredictability of holiday meals can trigger anxiety and make it tempting to fall back on old disordered eating habits. Looking at the menu ahead of time takes away the element of surprise and gives you space to map out how the meal fits into your recovery requirements. Knowing what to expect allows you to focus on feeling nourished and supported rather than stressed.

How do I prioritize self-care when my holiday schedule is super hectic or involves travel?

Short Answer: Treat your self-care practices like non-negotiable appointments by scheduling them directly into your calendar and inviting a loved one to hold you accountable.
Explanation: When holiday travel and busy schedules take over, self-care is often the first thing to go. By scheduling downtime just as you would an important meeting, you are far more likely to follow through. Partnering with a supportive friend or family member to do a self-care activity together adds extra accountability and ensures you get the quiet time and nervous system regulation you need.